what have i claimed?

so i want to go to seminary for music... but it's sooooo hard... it's not like i can go to the career development center at my school and say, 'hey! i want to go to seminary. what can you tell me about it?'

i mean i could if i wanted to, but since the answer to my question would surely be, 'nothing' *followed by a blank stare * , it would just be a waste of time... i mean, i could be researching on my own... or eating popcorn *not that that would help, but it might make me feel better about this.

not that i feel bad... i really want this... it's just so overwhelming... i mean, i was called to this thing, and i want what God wants but... o my gosh!

do you have any idea how many denominations there are! there are like 17 different types of baptists... free baptist, independant baptist, reformed baptist, unspecified baptist *ha! * ... it's CRAZY! so i have to research doctrine now...

and the academic requirements! i don't know... most only require a 2.5... but i don't know if i'll have that... my whole undergraduate career has been me failing in every major that i've chosen... finally teaching me that my calling is not to science, no matter how much i try... but it's to music... but i can't fit that sentence on the little line for GPA on the application. what to do?
THEN... it's hard enough to find a seminary that offers music... and the type of music that i'll want to learn... and that doesn't require previous music... seminary really is like grad school... i just don't see it...

every time i start to research, i get so nervous; literally shaking... like 'what if it doesn't work out? how is this gonna work out? i can't find a place for me- what am i gonna do?' right now, i can't see any other option for me... there's nothing else that i want to do... oh yeah... and i was called. how 'bout that...oh well... i know a way will be made.