guh?

you know what i was thinking? i think i wanna take you out to a movie...

ummmmm... ooo.....kaaaay........

that wouldn’t be weird or anything would it? like you wouldn’t be freaked out by that or anything would you?

naw... it’s cool... we can go AS FRIENDS....

that’s cool?

yeah... AS FRIENDS that’s cool... if we go AS FRIENDS... that’s no problem...... AS FRIENDS!!!

then i hung up and stared into space with a bewildered expression and uttered, ‘what?’

out of my ridiculous naïveté, thinking still that he thought of me as just a friend and wondering why someone that i didn’t exactly talk to on a regular basis was suddenly trying to hang out with me, i asked my roommate, who speaks with him way more often than i do, if it was weird that he asked me out... she said, ‘no – he likes you... he thinks you’re sooo beautiful... we were talking about it the other day... he asked me if you liked big boys...’

i don’t.

now he’s biiiiiiiiiig y’all... latitude and longitude.

he could actually prolly crush me just by looking at me.

i mean i love this dude AS A FRIEND and he’s really cool but he doesn’t possess the one thing that my ‘boo’ *i will never use that word again unless i’m making fun of someone for using it* must have – and that’s a sincere walk with God... see not just someone who goes to church because they’re getting paid for playing, but someone who’s excited to go to bible study and who is really willing and striving to be close to God... someone who’s focus is not on his immediate happiness, but on pleasing Him – you know... he ain’t got that... he’s a good guy... but he’s not there...

i mean he’s not really my type anyway, but i can overlook a lot of things... but that walk... that walk is necessary...

anyways... i know i’ve been gone for a long time... (not that anyone really missed me... except chi maybe... who left me a message on my voicemail after i failed to pick up the phone many many times... it went something like this (most of this might be fabricated by me):

'i was just calling to make sure you weren’t lying at the bottom of a well in montreal, feeding off of the maple syrup that finely coats everything in canada, and making ghost noises to scare the locals away because you’re too embarrassed to have someone find you and then you have to explain why you fell to the bottom of a well... forgot how to tie your shoelaces again, eh? i TOLD you time and time again... make bunny ears.........' wait – where was i? right – my point was... at least she loves me... her and this dude apparently... i should've figured it out when he proposed marriage..... go figure.

anyway... i’ve been gone, but fret not cause i’ve recorded all the stories that i wish to share with you on the back of a mini krackel candy bar wrapper that’s balled up at the bottom of my abyss of a purse, and over the next few uneventful days, i will share them all with you... in the mean time... try some maple syrup on eggs... it’s better than it sounds.....