what do i do with my emotions?

i’m trying to determine what’s okay for me to do in this situation...

i want to cry... i really really want to cry and just sleep all day and eat maybe... though i have absolutely no appetite right now... prolly cuz i feel so much like vomiting...

i’m not sure that i’ve ever felt so sick of life that it would make me physically ill to the point where i don’t even want to eat fried seafood, or sugar (my favorites)... but, it’s happened... and i don’t know what to do...

i’m sure God wouldn’t mind if i cried... that’s cathartic... but the rest... that’s accepting defeat, and with all that i know about God and how He deals with me, it wouldn’t make sense to do that....

see my feelings are in direct conflict with my faith... which is fine... that’s bound to happen... the apostle peter said that the flesh wars against the soul... it’s up to me to act according to what i know and not according to my feelings... that’s wisdom- the application of knowledge...

my dilemma now is to determine the line between actions that reflect my feelings and actions that reflect my faith... and what can i do to calm myself that would still be acceptable to God?

i think it’s my refusal to cry that’s making me sick... denying emotions is dangerous too, right? but then it might be this sick feeling caused by my confusion that’s making it hard to cry... see, i can’t really tell if i’m sad or if i’m anxious or angry or in serious denial... it’s like all of the emotions are exerting the same force on my soul such that no one of them dominates, but they’re still there and still putting pressure on me... (it's been years and i still can't escape physics)...

still God... what do i do with my emotions?