can it be resurrected?

God has opened up so many opportunities for me in music and art and ministry... but school... school feels dead...

“if school is dead... let it stay dead!”

i’d love to, TIA...


i think stress is actually killing me... sunday, i had to dance at both services at my church... once the first dance was over and i exited the stage to the back room so i could rest, i got all hot and sweaty... like, beyond i’ve-just-expended-a-large-amount-of-energy hot and sweaty... this was a fever...

“i have to go home!”, i started screaming... but the other dancers wouldn’t let me... knowing that if i went home, i wouldn’t be back to dance at 11...

so i went to sit outside... it was freezing outside that day and all i was wearing was a t-shirt... so why was i still hot and sweating profusely?

it was too much after a while... i was determined to go home... i stumbled over to grab my keys and my purse, leaving my jacket, knowing that my fever would keep me from getting cold... and i struggled to get to the door... but didn’t make it...

i collapsed on the floor in pain and sweating, wanting to cry, but not able to...

“i want to go home!”, i whimpered in futility, as the others told me once again to go back outside... so i got on my hands and knees to push myself up though i was dizzy...

when suddenly i found the strength to push myself off the floor... probably because of the vomit that was spewing forth from my mouth...

so i stood over the railing of the second floor fire escape, and emptied my stomach onto the concrete below, while nisha, one of the dancers, stood behind me and rubbed my back to comfort me...

(i was surprised by her tenderness... she’s usually very ‘teenager-y’...)

then i rested... and i prepared to dance next service... all that- and i still danced... now THAT’S dedication...

meanwhile, i’m skipping my last two finals, because i’m gonna fail anyway... besides... school is already dead...