so i had a dream where my aunt told me that my mom was saying that i need to get out of her house... in my dream, my sentiment was like, ‘what?! no kidding!' i think i’ve spent the majority of my school life avoiding that house like it was the plague.

i’m starting to realize more than ever that this is my life... i don’t have to listen to what my parents tell me to do. granted they have life experience, but if they truly knew everything i’m sure their lives would be just right. the point is... nobody understands me like i understand me... and nobody knows what’s best for my life better than God. so as sound as moms’ advice may seem, it’s not her life that i’m trying to live... and that life is one that is clearly in conflict with what i know God wants from me... talk about ‘choose ye this day whom you will serve...’

this would mean instead of diligently looking for a job, i should be diligently attempting to finish my applications for seminary... even though my mom is breathing down my back... HARD... it’s like a tornado back there... i mean, i know in my heart that the job search doesn't feel right... it's like i KNOW what i 'm supposed to be doing right now, but i'm letting parent pressure push me the wrong way...

oh well... if i’m gonna do what i’m gonna do then i need to get to work and stop playing around with... God’s life.