okay, so the reason that i am the absolute worst at updating my blog is cuz i don't have internet at home...

and then i'm hardly ever on the school campus seeing as how i've graduated!!!

well... practically graduated... i still have to finish my p.e. class... but i just show up to play tennis 4 more times and i as good as have a degree!

i got a new job... in a cafe... i love it! i love my coworkers... as different as their personalities are, i love them all... i love the interaction with people... even if it is just to take orders... i even love washing the dishes...

i think something's wrong with me... my mom always thought so... i have no drive to make large amounts of money... as long as i'm just making it, then i'm okay... i'm so low maintenance, if i were a building... you wouldn't even need a landlord... *man! i'm so corny!*

so life in educational and fiscal respects is okay... spiritual is another story... somewhere deep inside of me i feel like i need to get myself together seeing as how i still def plan on going to seminary next fall... but who knows when... my friends whom i've told about my problem don't even want to mention it cuz it's too much for them... and i totally understand cuz i can barely stand it myself...

i wonder if this is how my mother's contempt for God grew... i wonder if i'm doomed to the same fate... nothing is really trying to turn it around........

i'd pray... but..... come on.......